Femur-tastic Day...

Our family today...

It's the simple things in life...like fireworks...and pretending to like each other!

Coming home from the hospital...

Poor Makayla's burns..

Such a scary day for all of us...

Well, here it is..the anniversary of the dreadful day...THE CAR ACCIDENT! We decided today would not be a dreaded day..instead on our calendar it reads: FEMUR-TASTIC DAY! So today consisted of Mom, Makayla and Aidan doing nothing but having fun. We got up after a long cozy time...started the day with the sweetest prayers and then got ready to go. First we went to Academy for presents! Makayla wanted a Soccer Ball and Aidan got a gun..imagine that! :) We then went to lunch at Taco Bell, their choice, and then out for cookies! We then came home, got all cozy on the couch, with a gun next to us, of course and then went to play Soccer when Daddy got home-in the sprinklers on the Soccer Field! I'd say today, was indeed FEMUR-tastic! Now I sit here, in a quiet house. I watch Makayla and Aidan sleep in their beds and I am so sad, yet happy. Can only Moms feel two totally different emotions at the same time? I reflect back on this long year...I remember the accident so very clearly and sometimes it's hard to sleep feeling it and seeing it over and over again. I close my eyes and always wish for a different outcome. I always wonder if there was something I should have done. I wish I wouldn't have told Aidan to look at the horses...I wish I would have seen her darting across. Why do we, as Mom's, always blame ourselves even when deep down we know it wasn't our fault and there was nothing we could have done? I remember getting out of the car, unhooking his seat belt him looking up to me with the biggest gash ever across his forehead. I remember the blood. I remember hoping and praying for no scar. I remember seeing the man from church run to us, and feeling comforted by seeing someone I knew to help me, to help my babies. I remember trying to call my husband. I remember seeing him get there, with tears in his eyes and a scared, panicked look...hoping he would just say, "They will be fine.." I remember seeing my daughter taking in the whole scene and worrying that she was in shock. I remember the ambulance ride, my sister talking me through it all. I remember getting to the hospital, hearing him cry, hearing them say his femur is broken..wondering what that meant..I remember 20 stitches and him counting with them for it to be over. I remember having to say goodbye as they wheeled him away for surgery. I remember what we all were wearing and talking to my mom for the first time and crying because I needed her. I remember hurting but not knowing how hurt I was until 3 hours later. I remember him waking up and his little hand reaching out to me. I remember his sister being so hurt and seeing him hurt just hurt her even more. I remember her climbing into his bed and just wanting him to be close to her. I remember the hospital room, his first walk with crutches, bringing him home, not knowing how to really care for him. I remember watching him sleep and crying myself to sleep. I remember the week after, school starting and it being a new school...I remember having to leave him with a cast up to his hip and a huge gash on his forehead. I remember not knowing what to do..but crying the whole time he was gone. I remember going to lunch with him everyday, so he wouldn't slip on an orange peel, taking him home early and parking in the wheel chair parking spot. I remember how sad he was, how stressed he was, that he even lost the back of his hair. I remember physical therapy, was terrible. The therapist had no idea what he was doing. I remember flipping completely out...I'm sure they remember that, too. :) I remember getting a new wonderful therapist and seeing my baby walk for the first time without crutches and recording it, with tears flowing. I remember months of physical therapy, watching him learn to bend again. I remember the surgery to remove the rods and he asked to keep them...instead we got a photo. :) I remember him being so tough and never asking for pain medication..but always wanting me by his side. I remember still praying the scars would fade. I remember the doctor saying 7 years...he can't do sports for 7 years. I remember Aidan's sad, sad face. I remember the first time he rode his bike after the accident and me being so scared, yet so proud. I remember hearing about a boy that passed away around the same age as Aidan and being so sad for this mom and yet feeling so blessed that I can still hear my little boy laugh...and this poor mom couldn't. I remember feeling guilty for counting my blessings and she was burying hers. Yes, it's been a long, hard year..and I've had a front row seat..but this little boy has made me so proud. I've learned so much about life. I've learned patience, strength, gratitude, and peace...and I know we are very blessed. Thank you God for my children....and thank you for all the blessings this year. I've seen the power of prayer up close and personal...and I am forever changed.